Meet the Neighbors Vegeta!
by Jedi Vegeta
Summary: Vegeta is ticked off. His new neighbors are driving him insane with their happy go lucky way of life. Is it just him, or are these people TOO happy? Conspiracy...


  
  
Meet the Neighbors  
  
I do not own Dragonball Z, Martha Stewart, Butterball turkey, ham or anything in its likeness. Also I do not own the title based on the movie. (Does that make sense???) In fact, none of the stuff following is based on it! If it does, oops, I have never seen the movie, and I think the title fits the fic. Maybe a little OCC warning!! I personally think that it is short, BUT IT IS GOOD! At least that is what my friends say! Anyway, Vegeta and Bulma have some new neighbors move in! Everybody loves them but Vegeta. Are these neighbors what they seem...or are they not? Poor Vegeta. If these were my neighbors, I would die! On with the fic!  
  
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"Oh! What a beautiful day it is outside! So sunny, and warm! I really should take Vegeta out some lemonade. After all, he is doing me such a big favor." Bulma walked in to the kitchen and poured two glasses of Lemonade. She grabbed both glasses and walked out side to where her husband had been working for the last two hours.  
  
"Oh! Look at him! He is such a hard worker, my Veggie-chan!" Bulma walked over to Vegeta, who was down on the ground planting some flowers. "Vegeta! Here is some lemonade! I just wanted to say thank you for planting these for me! I don't care what the others say about you, you have your sweet moments!" Bulma offered him a glass.  
  
Vegeta looked up from his grueling work and scowled at Bulma. He snatched the glass from her hand, gulped down the contents, and threw the glass back at her. "Woman, I am only doing this because you said that if I didn't, you would invite Kakarrot and his demon mate over here for dinner. If it weren't for that, I would either be inside watching TV or training! And this lemonade is the worst I have ever tasted! It taste like...like..."  
  
"Oh no! Vegeta...are you alright?" Bulma looked down at her glass in horror.  
  
Vegeta started to feel kind of woozy. "Woman, what are you trying to do...poison me?" Vegeta knelt down and started to vomit.  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry Vegeta! This is a new experiment I am doing in order to help children who have swallowed items they shouldn't have, regurgitate it! My father said that most parents wouldn't like it, you know, their children vomiting, in fact, I don't think I would like Trunks or Bra drinking this stuff, anyway, I meant to throw it away, but I must have forgotten!"  
  
Vegeta growled. "Apparently."  
  
Bulma shook her head as she tried to help Vegeta to his feet.   
  
"Problem there neighbor?" a voice bellowed from Bulma and Vegeta's left.  
They both turned to see a man in his late 40's. He was about 5'11, green eyes and brown hair, which was graying on top. He had a friendly smile, and his eyes twinkled. He looked like the type whom everybody liked.  
  
Vegeta didn't like him.  
  
But Bulma did. "Hello! You must be the new neighbors! I am Bulma Briefs and this is my husband Vegeta. Vegeta say hello!"  
  
Vegeta pushed Bulma away from him. "I will not, woman. He is a weakling human. I am a Prince. I will not say hello to someone like him!" Vegeta crossed his arms and glared at his neighbor.  
  
Bulma's smile turned into an angry frown. "Vegeta! You will do what I tell you to do, is that clear?" Vegeta looked at her and turned up his nose.  
  
"Heh, Heh! I can tell you guys are in love. Those lover spats you are having are so adorable!" said a female voice. Bulma turned to see a woman join the man. The woman smiled a sweet smile at Bulma and Vegeta. "Hello. My name is Martha Gibson and this is my husband Ronald. We have been happily married for 18 years now."  
  
Bulma walked up to them while dragging Vegeta. " Hello! We just met your husband, Martha. I am Bulma and this is Vegeta, my husband. Vegeta. Say hello!" Bulma thrusted Vegeta towards Martha and Ronald.   
  
Ronald smiled and grabbed Vegeta's hand and shook it. "Heya neighbor! I can tell you and me are going to be the greatest of friends. We can watch golf together, football games, basketball, and baseball. And we can even go fishing, bowling, kayaking, hunting, and golfing. And hey! I can take you to my golf club! Do you golf?" Ronald asked Vegeta.  
  
"No! I don't golf you baka! Now get out of my face before I kill you!" Vegeta screamed. Bulma was now angrier. "Vegeta, be nice to them!" Bulma turned back to the Gibson's. "I am so sorry! My husband is so rude. Perhaps later you would like to come over for dinner or tea or something." Bulma amended.  
  
The Gibson's nodded. "Sure! Or perhaps you would like to bring your family over to our house sometime. We have a son and daughter about Trunks and Bra's ages!" Marta said.  
  
Bulma smiled. "Great! Well, how about today?"   
  
Ronald nodded. "Great! We'll bring over some food and we will bring along the kids too. They are real excited to have children to play with!"  
  
"Great then! See you tonight!" Bulma grabbed a scowling Vegeta and headed back towards the house.  
  
"Woman, do you not think it odd that they knew we had children."  
  
Bulma looked at Vegeta. "No."  
  
"Nani? But they also knew their names!"  
  
"Vegeta, I am Bulma Briefs. I am famous all around the world. Of course people are going to know us. Stop being so jumpy." Bulma led Vegeta in to the back door.  
  
"I don't like this." Vegeta muttered.  
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"Trunks! Are you ready yet?" Bulma bellowed to her son. Trunks came walking down stairs while fighting with his tie. "Ma, why do I have to wear this?"   
Bulma smiled sweetly at her son. "Because, we are having guest tonight." Bulma handed a tray to her son. "Now, go and place this on the table please!" Bulma said as the front doorbell rang.  
  
"Oh! Vegeta, will you get that please?" Bulma asked her husband, who was sitting at the table staring at the plate. 'Great, not only do I have to endure the woman's horrible cooking; I have to look at these pathetic excuses for earthling all evening. Might as well do as the woman says or risk getting my ear yanked off.' Thought Vegeta as he got up to answer the front door.  
  
Vegeta turned the knob and was greeted by the Gibson's and their two children. Vegeta looked over their shoulder and saw the wife following the stone steps up to the house. Vegeta scowled. "Did you also use the stones to get up to the house?"  
  
Ronald laughed. "Sure did, buddy!"  
  
Vegeta scowled again. "Don't call me that if you value you pathetic excuse for a life. Anyway, why didn't you just cross across the grass? Much simpler."  
  
Ronald laughed again. "Can't do that Vegeta, after all, one must think about all of the blades of grass we stepped on as children. Since thinking about that, I now worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge against my family and me. So if I avoid the grass, the least likely the chance of my family and I suffering. Understand?" Ronald smiled.  
  
Vegeta gaped. 'This man is insane.' Thought Vegeta as he and his wife entered the house. Vegeta looked down and saw the children looking up at him. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"I like cats!" the little girl squeaked.  
  
Vegeta scowled lessen. 'Well, perhaps she would be a good playmate for my Princess.' Vegeta thought while glancing down at the little red head girl.  
  
"With Mayo!" she squealed again while running into the house.  
  
'Insane also.' Vegeta sighed to himself. He felt a tug at his jacket. The boy...he was dressed in scuba gear. 'What the...' Vegeta muttered.  
  
"My friends tell me that I have been acting strange lately. I just hit them  
with a sledgehammer. That showed them!" the boy skipped into the house, following his parents.  
  
Vegeta shook his head and closed the door.  
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"...so I decided, after numerous times of arguing with my mother's dead uncle, that I would rather be eaten by a koala than be loved by an deadly infectious disease! Is that not funny?" Martha laughed.  
  
Trunks, Bulma, Bra, Ronald, and the children who were named Dick and Jane, laughed at her story. All except Vegeta who was starting at Martha like she was crazy.  
  
Bulma began to stifle her laugh. "Ronald, will you please tell Vegeta the story about how you tripped over the cornstalks and landed in a vat of cranberries.  
  
Vegeta glared at Bulma. "I do not want to hear any stories of no such thing." Vegeta crossed his arms. Bulma began to get that angry look on her face, when Ronald touched her arm.  
  
"It's alright Bulma. Besides, it is kind of a story also involving paper," Ronald picked up his napkin. " And we need to all be careful around napkins, 'cause they have ears!"  
  
The room erupted with laughter again.  
  
"Oh, Vegeta! Trunks and Dick have so much in common, don't you Trunks?" Bulma said to her son. Trunks nodded excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, Dad! Dick and I both like to fight and he is going to teach me how to scuba dive!" Trunks smiled as he clapped Dick on the shoulder. "Hey! You want to go up stairs to play Final Fantasy XX?" Trunks asked.  
  
"Sure!" Trunks and Dick ran upstairs.  
  
"Daddy! Jan and I both like dolls and cats! I am going to show her Grand Pa's cat!" Bra jumped down from the table with Jane in tow as they ran to another room.  
  
"Keep the cat away from the mayo!" Vegeta yelled down the hall after the two girls. Vegeta grabbed his napkin and began to twist and turn it angrily. 'These demon people are brainwashing my family! I know they are! They are evil...evil!"  
  
The dinner continued...  
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THE NEXT DAY  
  
Vegeta sat on his sofa watching TV. He had just got done training and had decided to relax for a bit. While flipping through the channels, he heard a knock on the window behind him. Vegeta turned and came face to face with Ronald.  
  
"Hey Vegeta! Will you open your window so I can here the show? My TV is busted. Look, I even brought out my recliner and some popcorn! You want some?" Ronald said as he began to claw manically at the window base.  
  
"WOMAN!" Vegeta jumped up and ran to Bulma who just opened the house to Ronald. "Look who is here, Veggie-chan! Ronald!" Bulma said as she smiled at Ronald. "Come in, come in! Sit down and watch TV with Vegeta."  
  
Vegeta was confused. "How...he was just clawing at my window like a psychopath and less that two seconds later, he ends up all the way around the house at the front door." Bulma frowned at Vegeta.  
  
"Vegeta, don't call our neighbors, psychopaths. They are very nice people. And if anyone should be called psychopath, it should be you!" Bulma yelled.   
  
Vegeta growled. "I am sick and tired of all of this wo..."  
  
"Vegeta, my friend. Calm down. I just read a report that people who get angry too much tend to die earlier. If you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me, your wife, or like I do, talk to my toaster. He always has the solutions to my problems!" Ronald tapped his nose and laughed. Bulma laughed too.  
  
"Oh Ronald! You guys are the greatest neighbors I have ever had!" Bulma left Vegeta and Ronald in the room alone.  
  
"Ok. The woman likes you, but I don't. So get out of my house before I make you so ugly, your own mother won't recognize you...oh, too late, you baka!" Vegeta began to shove Ronald out of the house, but Ronald placed his hands on the doorframe to stop him. Vegeta pushed with all of his strength, but could not budge him. "What is going on? You are a human, you should be out of my..." Ronald interrupted Vegeta.  
  
"You're right about one thing Vegeta. Your family likes me but you do not. Your wrong about me being human though." Ronald's eyes glowed red as Vegeta backed off from Ronald.  
  
Ronald turned around and glared at Vegeta. "And I am going to use you families love of us against you. We are on a mission to destroy the earth. And there is nothing you can do about it. Bwhahahahahaha!" Ronald cackled insanely as he ran out the door to his house.  
  
"I knew it! They are up to something! I will wait for the right chance to strike." Vegeta though darkly as he walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. While getting a glass of water, he was horrified at what he saw.  
  
Jane, the Gibson's daughter, was in the backyard digging holes...holes that looked like graves. And one was clearly marked 'Vegeta Briefs'. Vegeta dropped his glass and ran to the front window and looked out to see Dick setting fire to the lawn decorations.  
  
"This is going too far!" Vegeta yelled as he ran to the phone. "I am going to call Kakarrot. He might be of some use in helping me annihilate these idiots." Vegeta dialed up the Son's residence. Goten answered the phone.  
  
"Spawn of Kakarrot! Where is that third-class baka of a father of yours? Put him on NOW!" Vegeta screamed into the phone.  
  
"Uh...he is not here Vegeta." Goten said.  
  
"Then where is he?" Vegeta growled.  
  
"Visiting your neighbors! Bulma referred my mother to them as some people they should get to know. So, Mom and Dad are eating lunch over there." Goten explained.  
  
Vegeta slammed down the phone and sprinted out the door to the Gibson's house. "Oh, no! If they get Kakarrot bent to there evil will, then I will be all alone in this fight!" Vegeta plowed through the front door and into the Gibson's kitchen. He was too late.  
  
"Ha, ha! That was so...Vegeta? What are you doing here?" Goku turned and looked at Vegeta. "And you just plowed through their front door. That was not nice!" Goku frowned and Vegeta.   
  
Vegeta began to tremble in anger. 'They brainwashed Kakarrot also...if there was a brain to begin with.' Vegeta thought to himself.  
  
"Kakarrot...what are you doing here with these...evil people?" Vegeta pointed towards the Gibson's. Goku shook his head. "These are nice people Vegeta. Plus, Martha can cook really well! She cooked me 20 hams! How she knew I ate so much is amazing!" Goku said as he placed his arm around Chi Chi.  
  
Chi Chi smiled up at Goku. "Plus, they told us of a wonderful getaway for me an Goku to go too. After all, it has been years since the last time we were alone together." Chi Chi said as she kissed Goku on the cheek.  
  
"Oh! Isn't that so sweet?" Martha clapped her hands together and Ronald smiled at the couple. He then looked at Vegeta. "Is that not sweet Vegeta?" Ronald placed his hands on his chin and narrowed his green eyes at Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta scowled walked over and grabbed Goku off of the sofa. "Kakarrot, I need to talk to you for a moment...NOW!" Vegeta drugged Goku out onto the lawn outside.  
  
"Ack! Vegeta! We are stepping on the grass! The ancestors will seek their revenge on us if we do not get off now!" Goku grabbed Vegeta as he flew up into the air. Vegeta smacked Goku across the face.  
  
"Kakarrot. These people are getting to you too! Don't you see it? They first get to your stomach, then your mind, and then your soul. After that, you become their slaves. They have come to destroy Earth! Don't you care?" Vegeta looked at Goku for an answer.  
  
Goku shook his head. "Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta. You poor misguided soul. Don't you see you have the best neighbors in the world? I wish I had them. In fact I have decided to take a morning jog, like Ronald does! He starts out the morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom! I am going to do them too!" Goku said.  
  
Vegeta grabbed his head. "Ahhh!!!! They already have your mind! Kakarrot, do you not just realize what you just said?"   
  
Goku blinked for a few minutes. "And you know, just like Ronald, when I listen to the radio, I too think the music sounds backwards."  
  
Vegeta glared at Goku for a few seconds, trying to figure out a way to prove to Kakarrot the Gibson's were evil. He got an idea.  
  
"Kakarrot, do you remember the hams Martha gave you for dinner?" Goku nodded excitedly. "Yeah! They were Butterball!" Vegeta nodded. "No, Kakarrot...they were...and generic brand!"  
  
Goku's smile melted off his face. "What? But she said...Martha said..."  
  
"No. She lied to you."  
  
Goku screamed. "I only eat brand named foods! How could she? Vegeta, she truly is evil. We must band together to defeat this new evil that has invaded Earth. I am Son Goku and I will defeat it!" Goku powered up to SSJ3 and began to power up a Kamehameha, when Vegeta stopped him.  
  
"Kakarrot, think. Your mate is in there...not like I care. But we have to play it subtle. Our families must not know what were are doing." Vegeta rationalized.  
  
Goku nodded and powered down to normal state. They began to formulate their plans.  
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"Ronald, I don't like this." Martha said while glaring out of the window at the two Saiyans floating in mid-air. Ronald joined his wife at the window.  
  
"Neither do I. It appears Vegeta had broken the hold we had on Goku's mind. But we still have their wives and Vegeta's children under our control." Ronald turned and looked at Chi Chi who was sipping tea while flipping through a 'Martha Stewart' magazine.  
  
Martha scowled. "It looks like we will have to put phase two into action...NOW!" Martha turned and walked towards Chi Chi.  
  
Chi Chi looked up at Martha. "What is wrong?"   
  
"Your husband has betrayed us. You must join Bulma and her children in order to defeat the traitors."   
  
Chi Chi stood up and nodded to Martha. "As you wish mistress." Chi Chi walked out the door and glared up at Vegeta and Goku.  
  
"Goku! Could you come down here for a moment!" Chi Chi bellowed out to her husband. Goku looked down and nodded. He flew down and landed in front of his wife. "Yeah, Chi Chi?" Chi Chi looked up at her husband and smiled. "Goku, you know I love you so much...but, I never hear you say it. Won't you say it now for me?"  
  
Goku blinked and laughed. "Uh...Chi Chi, you know I do, but its kind of hard for me to say it...you know?" Goku looked down at Chi Chi and watched as her happy expression turned into a...well downright evil one...even for Chi Chi.  
  
"You traitor! How dare you betray our masters! They gave you food and this is how you repay them? By teaming up with that renegade Vegeta?" Chi Chi grabbed Goku's gi and began to lift him up from the ground.  
  
"Chi Chi! They are using you! Ack!" Chi Chi threw Goku over into a thorn bush.  
  
"Ow! That had to hurt." Laughed Ronald as he watched the brawl outside. "Dick, Jane! Come down and help Mrs. Son beat up her husband. One of you go get Bulma and her kids to help also, 'k!" Ronald called out to his kids. They came skipping down the stairs and nodded to their father.  
  
"Vegeta, look out!" Goku called as Chi Chi threw a plate at him. Vegeta dodged it and began to power up his ki. "Demon woman! I am going to kill you! Garlic...OW!" Goku stopped Vegeta.  
  
"If you kill my wife, I will personally hunt you down until I know that your body is strewn about in every part of the earth. Got it?" Goku said as glowed at Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta just snorted when a bullet whacked him on the head.  
  
"OW! Huh? Woman, what are you doing?" Vegeta looked down on his wife who was pointing a gun at him.  
  
"Vegeta, I told you to be nice to our neighbors. Now you're going to pay! Trunks! Get him"  
  
Trunks powered up to SSJ and flew up to attack his father. Vegeta foot connected with Trunks midsection. Goku heard and audible crunch as Trunks flew back and landed with a thud in the bushes below.  
  
"This is getting out of hand. Kakarrot power up to level 3! Were going to level this house, now!" Vegeta screamed while powering up. Goku nodded as he began to charge his Kamehameha.  
  
Chi Chi jumped on Goku's back and began to his him on the head. "Chi Chi stop it!" Goku took Chi Chi of his back and placed her in a near by tree.  
  
Jane and Dick crossed their arms and glared at the Saiyans. They both launched themselves at Goku and Vegeta. "Kamehameha!" a flash of light erupted from Goku's hands as it obliterated the two children.  
  
"Oh! My babies! I am so angry...wait? The pressure from my mind is lifting!" Martha said while clutching her head. Ronald also held his. "I remember, they were not our children, they were evil aliens!" Ronald looked up in time to see Vegeta and Goku charging at them.   
  
"Stop!" Ronald yelled at the approaching duo.   
  
Goku and Vegeta stopped in mid-air.  
  
"We were brainwashed like all of you.... they took over our minds and made us do evil deeds, but we are now free, thanks to your absolute hatred of us!" Ronald nodded to Vegeta as both he and Martha ran and jumped in their car. "Thank you for freeing us. Perhaps we will meet again!" They both waved and took off in to the sunset.  
  
Goku and Vegeta looked at the fading car for a good five minutes.  
  
"Ok...that was weird." Goku said as he scratched his head. "Well, I guess I will go get Chi Chi out of the tree and go home. I am sleepy."   
  
Vegeta watched as Goku collected Chi Chi and flew off into the night.  
  
Vegeta shook his head and walked back into his yard. He was met with a baffled Bulma and a groaning Trunk, who laid on the ground, clutching his stomach. Bulma turned and looked at Vegeta. "Veggie-chan? What happened?"  
  
Vegeta walked and began to walk into the house.  
  
"The neighbors were bothering me. So I went to talk to them."  
  
Bulma looked at the house next door.  
  
"We had neighbors?"  
  
Vegeta turned and looked at Bulma.  
  
"Yeah, we did. You really should have met hem before they left. Oh well!"  
  
Vegeta turned and walked into the house. The end of a perfect day.  
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Ok....That is all. I will say that that was a weird fic. Please Review! I would be extremely grateful if you did. As usually, constructive crtisimsm will be appreciated. NO FLAMES!!! Those are horrible. Anyway, thank you for reading and have a nice life :). And love your neighbors...or maybe not.  
  



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